SPEAK THAT. “Moral Integrity”



One thing that I’ve always hated about Ohioans is that many have questionable moral integrity.

Monday night an acquaintance, who has two children by a now out gay Ex-husband, is dating a New Guy who She knows is very much racist and homophobic. She was upset because She and New Guy had gotten into a fight because he’s jealous of the relationship She must maintain for the sake of their kids.

To me She seems to be more concerned with her relationship with New Guy, who has also referred to her Ex-husband as a fag, than She is about the adverse effects the relationship New Guy could have on her children; instilling his hatred and bigotry to the kids, and bashing the children’s father for being gay, unless these are views She also shares.

Having been in the past best friends and still considering her Ex-husband a great friend, taking race out of the equation, as She and he are both white, how can She condone New Guy’s homophobia with excuses of “He’s a nice guy?,” when She is co-parenting with her gay Ex-husband? How is New Guy even an option? We’re not talking about Great-Grandpa who grew up in a different era, as we can’t choose our family, but we can choose who we allow in our lives and the lives of our children.

Not that She has done me wrong, but I can’t call this person a friend anymore as I believe when it comes to hatred and bigotry, if you don’t stand against it, than you stand for it. And this isn’t the first time I’ve been in a situation where I’ve been asked to “be ok” with homophobia, be ok with a white person saying nigga, be ok with being called a nigger. It’s not ok, and I’m not ok with it. Or people that claim to be open-minded, celebrate the diversity in their lives, yet sit quietly and allow their family, co-workers, BFF’s be bashed by others. These people have questionable moral integrity from whom I chose to disassociate myself.

Which is why, although this maybe greatly overstepping some boundaries, I want to inform the Ex-husband that New Guy is racist and homophobic, so that he can take the necessary steps in making sure his children have as little contact with New Guy as possible.

By not doing so I feel as thought I’m being as hypocritical as She is. Saying all the right PC things, yet not backing them up in my actions. Furthermore, with the recent outcomes of the Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown and Eric Garners cases, there is no room for people to sit by and not only allow, but perpetuate hate and discrimination by not speaking up and taking a stand against it. It takes courage to stand against hate. Be encouraged.


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